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It was a real barnburner of a match for the final round of DPReview March Madness. Sure it was silly, it didn’t always make sense, some matches were downright absurd, but it all started in the spirt of fun with 32 contenders invited to face off.
Each contender came to play, taking it one game at a time, giving it 110 percent, stepping up to take it to the next level, and even when their backs were against the wall, they never dropped the ball, instead they [insert your preferred sports cliché here]. Finally one stood atop all the others to come out with the win.
After five rounds, tens of thousands of votes, a whole lot of debate, and the mourning of Gordon, we’ve crowned a champion. It was close. The final winner was decided by a single point.
Read on to see how the vote shook up.
The championship
Jordan Drake vs Digital cameras
The DPReview team debated amongst ourselves. What follows is an edited version of this conversation:
Dale Baskin: Jordan, I love you man, but you’re going to have to take one for the team on this one.
Shaminder Dulai: Has anyone seen the coin?
Richard Butler: Sorry, mate, while it’s been an absolute pleasure working with you, it’s digital photography that’s been central to my life for more than fifteen years. As it turns out, I’m quite interested in digital cameras.
Shaminder: Can there be Jordan without digital cameras? This presents a paradox, what happens if we remove digital cameras from existence, does Jordan ever work in a camera shop, does he ever meet Chris, do we ever get to work with him and trade barbs about Canadian winters? Would Jordan walk the earth with a hole in his soul, unable to fill it, no matter how much chowder he tries to fill the void with?
Dale: Now you have me feeling guilty, because life would really suck without Jordan being around. However, I’d like to believe that, absent digital cameras, Jordan would have found his path as a modern day superhero, watching for evil from his secret mountain lair in the Canadian Rockies, battling crime, and fighting for truth, justice, and the Canadian way.
Shaminder: Mmmmm, maple syrup. Also, I can’t seem to find the coin.
Matt Waller: In Jordan there clearly beats the heart of a cinematographer, and absent digital cameras he would already have been famous shooting Hollywood movies on film, including IMAX movies of Chris fishing. Nevertheless, I’ll keep digital cameras; as a stills photographer I don’t need the invaluable information he provides about video specs anyway.
Shaminder: Now I’m imagining a ‘Fishing with John’ remake with Chris. Also, wait, can Gordan exist without Jordan? Can a twin exist without their twin? The Alpha to the Omega? If no Jordan also means no Gordon, that may change things.
Jason Hendardy: Digital Photography Review. Sorry Jordan. I should note that I don’t support erasing any human.
Jordan Drake: After consulting with my friends and family, I’ve decided that if digital photography can only survive by having myself erased, that is a sacrifice I’m willing to make. My one request is a large statue of myself in the DPReview offices for all time. Wait, they’re doing what to DPReview? Never mind. I vote for myself.
Chris Niccolls: I would rather have Jordan around. To hell with digital cameras. I’ll just use my smartphone. It’s all the camera I need to take the pictures of the trophy fish I’ll catch. And I’ll have all the time in the world to catch fish in a world devoid of digital cameras, because I’ll be out of work. And THEN I can start a fly fishing channel instead, and guess who will shoot it for me? Jordan because he will still be around, and out of work too! He can shoot it on a smartphone.
Shaminder: Forcing Jordan to work on a fishing show, I think that might be enough to make Jordan want to erase himself. Also, um…. smartphones are a form of digital camera Chris. Sorry, but it’s going to be back to tape decks for y’all. Anyway, no coin flip this time since I can’t find the coin.
| Jordan Drake | Digital cameras | |
| Reader poll result | 51.2% | 48.8% |
| 23 pts | 22 pts | |
| DPR Editors picks | 50% | 50% |
| 23 pts | 23 pts | |
| Coin flip | 0% | 0% |
| 0 pts | 0 pts | |
| TOTAL | 46 pts | 45 pts |
| Jordan Drake WINS | ||
The king of the north
In a stunning upset, by a single point, Jordan Drake has struck down digital cameras, erasing their existence to never be seen again. We now join Jordan in the locker room where he’s celebrating this historic win.
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| Moments after victory, Jordan attempts to pose for a winning photo with digital cameras right before they vanished from history. |
DPReview Sports News Network: Jordan, tells us about this moment, how does it feel to have the DPReview community affirm that you should be allowed to continue existing?
Jordan: Considering what the ‘DP’ in ‘DPReview’ stands for, I’m shocked that photographers would sacrifice our favorite artistic medium in exchange for me.
DPRSNN: So you’re surprised?
Jordan: This certainly makes up for half a decade of comments about how readers would prefer written reviews to video reviews.
DPRSNN: What!? I can’t hear you over the fireworks! How will you celebrate? Will this inspire you to end your feud with your twin brother Gordon?
Jordan: I am going to celebrate by continuing to exist and finding small pleasures every day. Since one of my greatest pleasures in life is avoiding Gordon, I see little point in reaching out to that smug, self-aggrandizing cineweasel.
DPRSNN: So the feud with Gordon lives on?
Jordan: …
DPRSNN: Any parting thoughts for digital cameras? What does tomorrow look like now that we’re all back to shooting film and DV tapes, with all digital cameras from mirrorless and DSLRs to smartphones, web cams and doorbell cams no longer existing?
Jordan: Digital camera and video cameras gave me the incredible life I have now, but since they’re going away I look forward to making flip book animations. Look for them soon on Etsy!
That’s it from DPReview March Madness 2023, we now return you to your usual programing, already in progress.
Author:
This article comes from DP Review and can be read on the original site.
